Old Man Jenkins
OMJ is a former Krusty Krusher (and the former leader of the KKs) who became popular fast, joining January 15th, 2011, making tons of post in only a week. He kept deleting his account and leaving due to realife excercize to get into an army force. He is however, back permanentely as of June 8, 2011. His most notable works in SBC Literature and Spin-Offs are Post Fiction and Skodwarde. He is generally referred to as OMJ. OMJ, short for Old Man Jenkins, is an angelic vigilante who sees angels falling after drinking soda. OMJ likes long walks on bitches and hates it when people mistakes his sarcastic wit for kindness. OMJ is an uncommon man living in a common world where the laws of physics are beyond his comprehension. He can make you laugh, make you cry, and make you fap uncontrollably with a click of his touch-screen keyboard. Let's not get too ahead of ourselves here. Lets start from the beginning... One day Papa Jenkins and Mama Jenkins decided to make baby so they beamed down in their mothership dubbed "Sweet Thing" and probed a cow with their sweet crunk cup of saving grace. Like the Beastmaster before him, OMJ pushed his way through, breaking cow in half and Old Man Jenkins came into existence (emphasis on came). Like Eliza Thornberry before him, he talked to nature and they made plans to hit the clubs on Tuesday. Like Benjamin Button before him, OMJ grew hawter in age as his namesake suggests. OMJ soon came across two squirrels and named them Adam and Eve. He gave Eve an apple and things went to shit from there. OMJ make fire and gave some to a group of tree hugging butt buddies. They smoked the doobs and OMJ found himself blazed and confused, chained to a tree with chipmunks munching on his nuts. With apparently no way out, OMJ opened up another can of Planters and spent 20 years to life under said tree, thinking about what to have for dinner, before reaching spiritual enlightenment. OMJ realized the chains werent bound to tree so he wasted all that time for something. OMJ stopped Abraham Lincoln from killing Sir Isaac Newton, saving gravity and making complex math in the process. Isaac's son, Wayne, would go on to invent music as the most soulful soul singer who ever lived. OMJ would introduce Honest Abe to woodcutting, urging him to cut down a cherry tree, popping them cherries in the process if ya know what I mean! OMJ and Abe would part ways, with OMJ promising that the next Abe sees him, he'll be a full fledged Pokemon Master. OMJ came into a small town terrorized by Vaginasaurus. He whipped out his sword and stuck it in there nice and tight, and was hailed as a hero. Blood orgies were organized in his honor. He would board the Tit-anic and meet some dude called Jack. They exchanged Tumblrs before the Tit-anic crashed into Atlantis and was re-released as a 4D movie. OMJ told Jack he would never let go but he did, and that's the last they saw of each other for a while, but OMJ claimed that he still sees him in his nightmares. OMJ would soon wash up onto uncharted territory. He came upon the natives, and they hailed him as a god. OMJ would go on to rule the natives, creating Fascism and Communism during reign. The natives got scared so they told him they were gonna move in with their aunties and uncles in Bel-Air. OMJ ordered in the nukes and the natives were smited for their insolence. OMJ would come across Lois and Clark, who asked him "Where's Hollywood?" so they went off in search of it together. OMJ would win the entire Louisiana Purchase from King Louis during a game of strip poker and Louis' wife baked them a cake and marked with a B before OMJ put it on the window sill to mold over. OMJ would later free the slaves from Uncle Tom with a little help from his friends, Shaka Zulu, William Wallace, and Beethoven. He lead the slaves through the Arizona desert before parting open some broad's legs, drowning out Uncle Tom and his World War propaganda with groaning and moaning. They came acRoss the band, Franz Ferdinand, but their joyful reunion was cut short by a group of Libyan nationalists who wanted their plutonium back. They assassinated Franz Ferdinand and that day would be known as the Day The Music Died. OMJ left Lois and Clark in Metropolis to do their shit and moved on to bigger and better things. Once OMJ made it to Hollywood, he came across T-Pain, the mixmastering master of darkness, who unleashed an unspeakable evil into the world known as "auto tune". T-Pain opened up a portal in time and flung OMJ into the future, where auto tune has the music industry in a death lock. Now OMJ seeks to return to the past, and undo the evil that is auto tune. And that's my story and I'm sticking to it. If you mustered up the courage to read all of that, give yourself a congratulatory spanking. That'll do, pig. That'll do. The Evolution of OMJ in one or few paragraphs OMJ first began lurking GameSpot in 2005, although he may have been there beforehand. Wanting in on the action, he finally created a profile under the name "beatnu3000" and began posting regularly in the Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas forum, posting bad fanfics even though that was against the rules because OMJ was ignorant and a rebel like that. He would soon become mixed into the San Andreas Myth Busters community, trying to debunk myths surrounding the game even though there was jack shit to look for but hey, he was ignorant. He even created his own GTA Sa: Myth Busters union that went nowhere fast. Trolling was a rampant issue in the San Andreas forums so alongside friend's Warrior_Kid, Lambo(random numbers here), Oldwomenslayer, GTAFreak, and some other good chums whose name's escape me, beatnu helped found the (un)official GameSpot Anti-Troll Police Union. The union would go on to recruit more members and really began to take off, but sometime during mid-late 2006, beatnu decided to abuse his officer powers for shit's and giggles probably and edited other member's posts, even his fellow officers and leader, so that they would say demeaning and derogatory things towards themselves and each other such as glorifying and mocking Warrior_Kid's love life with his girlfriend, creating tension between the group and fellow officer Fear, driving Oldwomenslayer and Lambo to leave at one point and downright causing civil unrest in the union. beatnu would conspire with some trolls (dgiver, woo_man, and godsmack(random numbers)) beatnu3000 lied to maintain his innocence and continued doing his thang so the group brought in an official GS Moderator in to help rectify their problem. The mod, fiddlecub, would reveal beatnu's ruse to the others easily and banned beatnu. beatnu3000 reincarnated as Beatnu808 and went back to the ATP board to declare his return but got banned right after, so yeah. He would be disowned by his friend's at the Anti-Troll Police and he would go through many accounts, one of which he named Warrior_Boi and and messages Warrior_Kid that he only did what he did in order to infiltrate the trolls and help the ATP from the other side of the fence. He was lying of course and he did actually tell him that and Warrior_Kid actually believed beatnu, once again gaining his trust. If WK didn't apparently die during a gang war as his "real life friend" Lone Wolf said, I'd say he was an idiot. beatnu3000 on tv.com tho, wasn't as devious. He became a mainstay in the WWE forums at the time before they went all smark ass like a bunch of self-righteous assholes, he was a regular at the Danny Phantom forum while the show was still hot, he posted some spinoff ideas at the old SpongeBob forum, a semi-DBZ regular and he posted a bit on the Avatar Last Airbender forum. He also was apart of a group of users on the Family Guy board who wanted to see the editor burn for outlawing forums games like an asshole. That went nowhere too. beatnu would finally settle with Pablo_808 as his account for years to come. He joined the ATP union again but the beatnu incident pretty much killed it and it's reputation. Seeing that Lambo created his own union dedicated to Next Gen GTA games, he decided to join there. Pretty much all the ATP members were apart of this GTA union so their suspicions arose with Pablo due to his exact same avatar that beatnu used and the number "808" since beatnu had used it once before. Pablo told them he was legit and they bought that too. I was friend's with morons, no wonder I went "balla" on them. Pablo would eventually grow bored of GameSpot and moved over to TV.com full time in 2008. He returned to the Avatar forums in tue wake of their own troll problems around the time of the series finale. Instead of raising hell like he would normally do, Pablo grew pretty fond of these people and stayed out of the drama and made some new friend's like LondonParisNYC as well as besties: isabelwhatx and AVThunderbird (aka Vxiel), who were all won over by Pablo's energy, charisma and eccentricness. The Avatar Mocvt Refuge would be formed and Pablo initially refused to go at first but went anyway cuz shit. He would stay at the Refuge full time from then. He would make friend's with almost all the Avatard community at the Refuge such as D-P-1 (aka crushing mayhem on SBC), Tkow, Alpha, Maple, Buni, Space, Angel, Princess, Kiki, Maddo, Slugg, Emo Haruno, FLZ, Sharp, Mark, Nightwing, Boomer, Wiseone, Avatar Roku (aka NightmareFan on SBC), Humble Newb, Speechles, Camz, Carmel, Caraen, Eman, that one guy with three personalities, and a lot of other people who were taken by his charm. Pablo was borderline playful troll at first, but soon grew more fond of the site and the people so he toned down the obnoxiousness and like SgtHydra, FMA, Vxiel and Nicasso before him, he used his trolling for goodliness. Pablo's eccentric ways would get him on the bad sides of almost all the Refuge Staff, who took everything he did way too srsly. Hell, they would even abuse their power to make me look bad like changing my avatar and sig. Pablo would also trick the role-players into clicking on a Rick roll link that got him axed from the game. I regret nothing. His staff enemies mainly were admins Nalesnik and Wiselad and guru DDenDong. Haters gotta hate right? The staff would crack down hard on rules going into 2009 and Pablo wasn't having it so he created Teh Oasis as mock site of The Refuge where there were no rules for the lulz. The Refuge saw this as an act of war and began to take Teh Oasis srsly and even plotted against the site. I'll finish it later, yeah. Written Work OMJ has quite a resume when it comes to SBC Spinoffs/Literature Spinoffs: 1. Break A Leg! (Seasons 1-2; rights now belong to CNF) 2. Skodwarde (Seasons 1-5; original creator, later sold rights to Clappy and we collaborate together alongside Wumbo) 3. BadBob CoolPants (Only lasted for one incomplete season; unknown when or if remaining episodes will be aired) 4. The Killer Krab (One season miniseries; Completed; rights now belong to CNF) 5. The Walking Sponge (Currently ongoing) Lits: 1. Post Fiction (Season 1; rights now belong to Steel) 2. Rugrats: Grown-Up Party Cartoon (Canned) Other: 1. IJLSA Spinoff (Sold rights to CNF after canning it at the beginning of it's production) 2.Guest writer for other written works like SBC Therapy and Handsome Squidward Category:Users